Today is catch up on web work day. A bit for Ecity, a bit for Estand, and now the inevitable agenda.
I think, given half a chance, I will have this draft of Brendan's Song done before I go to bed, whenever that may be. Finish it, set it aside for at least a night, or maybe even two. Then the final rewrite and off it goes.
I've been fascinated by the difference in what I do and what a profesisonal like Holly goes through. While I'm frantic sometimes, I'm not under the duress and pressure that she is. She has an obviously good and demanding agent to please before she even gets to the publishing house. I've seen her go through hell over proposals, rewrites, and copyedits from hell. I've had some stress at various points, especially over rewrites -- but nothing like that.
Nor do I have the hope of making the money she'll make, at least not as long as I stay in epublishing. I have an outside hope that one of my books will take off in sales, but even then it's unlikely I'll make as much as she does in a single advance.
And there is the question, staring at me again: Do I want to go through that kind of hell for the money and the fame? Yes, there is far more fame attached to having a book on a shelf at Barnes and Noble, and I think it would be neater than hell to see my name there... But I'm not good at pressure when it's associated with writing. If I sold anything to print, it would most likely have to be an already completed work that an editor happened to find interesting enough to buy. Selling by proposal just sounds like a receipe for disaster with my mind set.
In the end, it probably just means I'm not professional enough to go that route. Maybe I'll have a change of heart -- it's happened before in other ways where writing is concerned. But for now... I'll skip the pressure as much as I can, and just see if I can't improve my craft before I worry about whether to try for the next step.
Although that's not saying I don't send material out to print publishers now and then. You never know...