Flash Fiction #725 -- Lilo Rules/2

 

 

I overlooked an important point in the initial text on my house rules. Because of the omission, I've been ridiculed and accused of not being a real cat. The attacks have gone from embarrassing to annoying.

If anyone bothers me after reading this statement, remember that I am a house panther with limited patience.
 
Rule #5 -- This rule covers food-related protocol and is aimed primarily at humans. Always remember this: If cats say they are hungry, feed us.  Saying we ate ten minutes earlier will not fool us. If humans want peace, feed us. 

Neow!

And don't forget the treats. 

Flash Fiction # 724 -- Mercenary

 

Being a mercenary does not make me a monster.  There are others who don't live by any code, but they are only hired by the most desperate -- or the most vengeful. I had been with Otin's Pack for ten years, and we had served with loyalty and honesty.  We chose our sides carefully, and more than once, Otin turned down the promise of higher payment rather than blacken our history.  
In the now legendary battle of Ytuo, we didn't change sides in the heat of the conflict.

To this day, we are the king's most trusted guards.  And the richest.

Flash Fiction #723 -- Lilo Rules

 

I am Lilo, a full-grown House Panther.  That means I rule the house. If you don't agree, there is no reason to remain.  Pack up and move on to some other place with less exacting standards.

Rule #1 -- This is my house. Everything in it is mine, including the food, bed, and humans.

Rule #2 -- Zette's pillow is my pillow.  Buffy, being the eldest, can lean against it until I want it again.

Rule #3 -- If you hiss, I will bite you, even if you weren't hissing at me. Choose your battles wisely.

Rule #4 -- Don't argue with me. Ever.

Flash Fiction #722 -- Carrots

 

I worked in the castle kitchens, running errands and dicing carrots.  I despise carrots.  So, of course, I had inherited my grandmother's bright orange hair and fiery temper -- and her name, Carrot Top. If I'd ever had another name, no one remembered it, including me. 

At seventeen, I saved a visiting lord's life.  His personal cook warned about his onion allergy. He watched us like a hawk.

I saw him drop small pieces of onion onto the roast.

My warning saved Lord Skycrest.  I got a new name.  I am Ginger now.  I am also training to be a cook.

Flash Fiction #721 -- Bored Immortal

 

The problem with being an immortal god is that you can easily outlive your true believers.  The situation becomes complicated if the immortal loses interest in their subjects.

Humans bored me. I found worse.  

Take, for instance, rabbits.

Take as many rabbits as you like.  They are everywhere.

Bunnies don't need guidance.  They are naturally sweet and don't need help eating proper food or making more bunnies.  In fact, they are exceptionally good at the last one.  They aren't big on worshiping.  I withdrew my special protection and moved on.  I found a new realm.

Cats should be good, right?